Trauma and Light - by: Jane Kifer

Our mentors say that traumas occur in our lives and can make a lesion on our brain. The lesion allows and opens up an opportunity for sickness and vulnerability. Essentially stuck energy. In all areas that are stuck, if you envision an energetic light passing through your entire being and portion of your body, you will only aid in reparation and redevelopment of healthy cells. It is an energetic shift. Calm your heart, center your being, however you are comfortable doing that. If you don't know how, just start by sitting calmly or lying down. Take deep breaths and picture a golden light washing over your entire being and inside and out of every nook and cranny of your inside self. Doing this will rejuvenate and heal and will support anything else you are doing for yourself. Picture all that black tar stuck stuff getting burned up in the sun. Let the universe deal with your unwanted "stuff".

A little Light and a Little Breath - By:Jane Kifer

Do yourself a favor! BREATH! Deeply. Regularly. Play a game and picture a light, a white light streaming, or swirling or shooting through every neuron in your body. Every cell, muscle, nerve ending. Every space and fingertip. Do it for your mental health, do it for your physical health. Picture your breath and your light moving from your heart outward, or picture it moving from your feet up! Do it. You can do it lying down or sitting at your desk, as you fall asleep, or make a moment for yourself to do it. You will feel more balanced, invigorated and peaceful. Promise

Where Do You Feel It In Your Body? - By: Jane Kifer

I have had my own experience of things flying out of my mouth and not even knowing I am angry! I have seen things fly out of teacher's mouths at feeling inadequate or frustrated, I have seen people clam up in certain situations! Shut down, retreat. Whatever your reaction is I offer you this, before this occurrence, where do you feel it in your body? My boyfriend and son both requested I stop yelling at them years ago. I didn't even realize I was, I didn't feel like I was. And anyway, they weren't listening! So instinctually, I yelled! To me it was more of a passionate lively emphatic expression, but to them it was scary. So not wanting to loose my boyfriend or damage my son, I listened! Just before this response you have, where and what do you feel in your body. I realized I feel a rolling fire rise up in my chest and throat and then it came hurling out. Now, As I feel that feeling rise up , I calm down, take a second and say to myself, "Oh Hello there, I'm pissed, I don't feel heard, I'm overwhelmed and I want to freak out!" So now after time and practice, I stop, have a little conversation with myself and then articulate something on the lines of, " I'm feeling frustrated, I'm feeling overwhelmed." This allows the other person to understand and pause without being attacked! Many years ago I had a primal fear in a certain situation that was all from a traumatic experience in my childhood. In my mind this actual impending doom was possible, But when I settled into the feeling, I could feel the numbness and paralysis in my thighs that made me immobile with fear. Once I could acknowledge that, I was better able to breakdown reality and where the fear was stemming from. So, I implore you to take a beat and feel- where is the sensation in your body and how would you describe it? Recognizing it and bringing awareness to it can help bring about beautiful growth and change, and in my expereince will definitely add beautiful things to your life.

Water Puts Out Fire - by: Jane Kifer

Elements and personality. Have you ever noticed, one person in particular really fires you up? Other's help you feel supported? Some put you down? It is fascinating to do people's chinese numbers and see the relationship of all of their elements. My son, as much as he loves me and treasures me and needs me and feels supported by me, he also feels I put him down in a way, no matter how I say something or that I say something. I am fire and he is metal. I have the power to melt him. And I noticed my boyfriend who is earth, actually produces my son. You can see the amazing flourishing relationship. My son feels fed and nurtured and supported by him. In the cylce of production, wood feeds fire, fire produces earth, earth creates metal, metal produces water and water feeds wood to grow. Then there is the over powering cycle. Earth contains water, as in a river, metal chops wood, as in an axe. Water puts out fire, and wood moves earth as in tree roots. We all have some version of some of these elements in our personality and the relationship between them is fascinating.

Back to the Door - By: Jane Kifer

I recently was in two meetings where I wanted something to come out of it in my favor and advancement. In the first meeting when she offered the table and I went to sit as she stepped away for a minute, I paused and thought about the chair I would choose. I actually went to the other side of the table so I did not have my back to the door and that I actually faced it. The table was such that she also faced the door. We were on equal footing, on the same page, were equally excited about each other and felt like we benefitted by meeting the other. It was superb. Wonderful, she wanted me to meet the others to discuss matters further. A week later, she had referred me to her partner. We made a time and planned to meet. When I arrived and he walked me to the place we were to sit down, it was an outside area with about three entrances. He faced all of the them. The table and the approach was such that I sat on the bench available and was being offered to me. The meeting went well. But there were numerous times where I felt off balance in our discussions. I got insecure about things I said and statements he made in relation to my experience he was discovering. As I left, I felt a little insecure. When I spoke of the meeting, it honestly seemed like it was actually overall positive, but I was left with an uneasy not confident feeling I couldn't quite put my finger on. I wasn't consciously choosing where I sat or the doors in this meeting, but only realized my sentiments much later as I combed over my unrest about it. I went on to think, perhaps my strong personality was quelled a bit by having my back to the door and in turn in my favor. Maybe in order to get this project in my taller than him, loud, strong, American way, it was to my advantage for his French, shorter than me man to feel in charge. Perhaps if I was in the command position it would not have gone as well. Perhaps, my back to the door, balanced my strength and the force of nature I can be. Just maybe in this case it is to my advantage I felt a little vulnerable in this arena. Ahh we shall see.

Chinese New Year - By: Jane Kifer

Bless your home, Satisfy the wealth gods! Year of the horse- Honor it! I just carried incense from the street into my house and the neighbors looked on, but it's ok! Symbolically welcoming the wealth. Not just thinking it. Ritualistically bring it in!

New Year Feng Shui - by : Jane Kifer

Get the dead flowers out of your relationship corner for God's sake! Get that dust off the shelves. Make the bed! Get to that to do list. If you were moving tomorrow, what would make the journey? Be thankful. Let go of the broken, dead, angry parts! Happy New year. Baby steps for your dreams coming true! If you can imagine it and see it and say it, it isn't big enough! This year is a year of less worry, more health, more peace. The almanac says so! It's a year of harvest. It's a wood horse year. A year of better luck. Many peace and blessings to you.

Go F&*K Yourself! I LOVE YOU! by: Jane Kifer

Talk about the power of intention, or the power of words, or feelings- all that good stuff. Last week I got into some tangled messes with my boyfriend. UGH! Hard big frustrating stuff! And like the pendulum swinging in both directions, When it got really tough and we were both at our worst, I typically, am sorry, feel badly, try to take the high road and see it from his side, blah blah! BUT THIS TIME, I was taking my power back. I came up with that all on my own. No self help guide here. Yes that's right, I wasn't going to be sorry. I embodied that LAST week. I wasn't going to feed into his bullshit tactics and coping mechanisms. I was going to tell him without words, but with piercing daggers out of my eyes, to GO FUCK HIMSELF! Thats' right. Rather than loose it and yell - which never goes well. I harnessed my hate for the unfolding events and I just kept saying in my mind, " GO FUCK YOURSELF". That lasted about a week. It was awful. It never got better! It was ugly and uncomfortable and blah. Yuck. Then this week I thought, hmmmm maybe I should try "I love YOU" and that was super uncomfortable. Then I thought, ehhhh because it is so uncomfortable that means I really need it. Yuck again. So I said it again. Felt it, thought it, shot I love you out of my eyes like an arrow. Things eased, softened, shifted and unfolded in a kind loving way. We were sweeter to each other. I was pissed that my new adage of "Go fuck yourself" wasn't working and I actually had to embrace something I didn't want- or rather was hard for me, in order to achieve what I do want. Last night a crunchy part came up again. Tired, frustrated, sad, beaten down, and annoyed, I asked to stop the conversation. I went to bed in bed, angry - and thought unwillingly, "I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you." And he walked into the bedroom and held me and had an honest sweet connected conversation. This morning was yet another story, I'm not sure I can do this! So much work! I love you I love you I love you I love you..eh eh eh.... I'll keep trying. I'll need some stamina for this.

Allergies & Other Stuff That Comes up - by : Jane Kifer

I have always had pretty bad allergies. Definitely to dust, cats, and to some plants. However there are times in my life where they are fine and other times where they are horrifically awful. About 10 years ago, when I first had my son, a friend randomly said to me in her kitchen, "when you realize you are having some sort of allergic reaction, see what you are feeling." I always remembered that statement and it took a long time to wrap my head around the fullness of it. At first I realized I would sneeze around cats. I made the relationship that I was always alone as a child and all I had around me were my cats. The sneezing was the sadness and fear of being alone and the cat symbolized that and "brought up" the old stuff. But then life went on and I kept reacting in different ways. That isn't to say that I am not allergic. I think it is absolutely physical and I think it gets triggered and out of whack by the emotional part that we store. It wasn't until a month ago that I realized a new HUGE part. Since I moved into my new house with my boyfriend and kids, my allergies have been close to the worst they have ever been. Going to bed at night not stopping sneezing, runny nose, watery itchy eyes. I was miserable. At the same time, living my in my new happy home and picture of bliss and figuring stuff out together as a new unit family is beautiful and amazing. Of course in my relationship stuff comes up and we are working things out. My boyfriend and I would always have this thing happen where he didn't realize he was blaming me for something he was feeling. It was a huge epiphany when he realized what he was doing. He was Not the only one doing it, I was locking in to feeling and being blamed. I was afraid, anticipating and fearful I was going to be blamed. On Guard so to speak. We unlocked this huge part which we would experience for much of our relationship up to this point. It was relieving and shifted things in a huge way for us. Time moved along and I realized, in this new house, I was sneezing every single day, but all of the sudden it stopped! I wasn't sneezing ever! I realized what my friend meant ten years ago when she said, "see how you are feeling." She said she noticed when her allergies come up, she is angry, really angry and not expressing it, holding it in. For me, It is blame, the anticipation of blame and guilt. It consumes my being and comes out in my allergies. Discovering this helps so much, Now I can stop and say " Oh ok, you are feeling scared that you are going to be blamed for something." I can talk myself through it, that I haven't done anything wrong and it is my fear coming up and not necessarily anything that is actually happening. That helps unlock the other parts of where the fear stems from originally from my past as well.