Allergies & Other Stuff That Comes up - by : Jane Kifer

I have always had pretty bad allergies. Definitely to dust, cats, and to some plants. However there are times in my life where they are fine and other times where they are horrifically awful. About 10 years ago, when I first had my son, a friend randomly said to me in her kitchen, "when you realize you are having some sort of allergic reaction, see what you are feeling." I always remembered that statement and it took a long time to wrap my head around the fullness of it. At first I realized I would sneeze around cats. I made the relationship that I was always alone as a child and all I had around me were my cats. The sneezing was the sadness and fear of being alone and the cat symbolized that and "brought up" the old stuff. But then life went on and I kept reacting in different ways. That isn't to say that I am not allergic. I think it is absolutely physical and I think it gets triggered and out of whack by the emotional part that we store. It wasn't until a month ago that I realized a new HUGE part. Since I moved into my new house with my boyfriend and kids, my allergies have been close to the worst they have ever been. Going to bed at night not stopping sneezing, runny nose, watery itchy eyes. I was miserable. At the same time, living my in my new happy home and picture of bliss and figuring stuff out together as a new unit family is beautiful and amazing. Of course in my relationship stuff comes up and we are working things out. My boyfriend and I would always have this thing happen where he didn't realize he was blaming me for something he was feeling. It was a huge epiphany when he realized what he was doing. He was Not the only one doing it, I was locking in to feeling and being blamed. I was afraid, anticipating and fearful I was going to be blamed. On Guard so to speak. We unlocked this huge part which we would experience for much of our relationship up to this point. It was relieving and shifted things in a huge way for us. Time moved along and I realized, in this new house, I was sneezing every single day, but all of the sudden it stopped! I wasn't sneezing ever! I realized what my friend meant ten years ago when she said, "see how you are feeling." She said she noticed when her allergies come up, she is angry, really angry and not expressing it, holding it in. For me, It is blame, the anticipation of blame and guilt. It consumes my being and comes out in my allergies. Discovering this helps so much, Now I can stop and say " Oh ok, you are feeling scared that you are going to be blamed for something." I can talk myself through it, that I haven't done anything wrong and it is my fear coming up and not necessarily anything that is actually happening. That helps unlock the other parts of where the fear stems from originally from my past as well.