Back to the Door - By: Jane Kifer

I recently was in two meetings where I wanted something to come out of it in my favor and advancement. In the first meeting when she offered the table and I went to sit as she stepped away for a minute, I paused and thought about the chair I would choose. I actually went to the other side of the table so I did not have my back to the door and that I actually faced it. The table was such that she also faced the door. We were on equal footing, on the same page, were equally excited about each other and felt like we benefitted by meeting the other. It was superb. Wonderful, she wanted me to meet the others to discuss matters further. A week later, she had referred me to her partner. We made a time and planned to meet. When I arrived and he walked me to the place we were to sit down, it was an outside area with about three entrances. He faced all of the them. The table and the approach was such that I sat on the bench available and was being offered to me. The meeting went well. But there were numerous times where I felt off balance in our discussions. I got insecure about things I said and statements he made in relation to my experience he was discovering. As I left, I felt a little insecure. When I spoke of the meeting, it honestly seemed like it was actually overall positive, but I was left with an uneasy not confident feeling I couldn't quite put my finger on. I wasn't consciously choosing where I sat or the doors in this meeting, but only realized my sentiments much later as I combed over my unrest about it. I went on to think, perhaps my strong personality was quelled a bit by having my back to the door and in turn in my favor. Maybe in order to get this project in my taller than him, loud, strong, American way, it was to my advantage for his French, shorter than me man to feel in charge. Perhaps if I was in the command position it would not have gone as well. Perhaps, my back to the door, balanced my strength and the force of nature I can be. Just maybe in this case it is to my advantage I felt a little vulnerable in this arena. Ahh we shall see.