Where Do You Feel It In Your Body? - By: Jane Kifer

I have had my own experience of things flying out of my mouth and not even knowing I am angry! I have seen things fly out of teacher's mouths at feeling inadequate or frustrated, I have seen people clam up in certain situations! Shut down, retreat. Whatever your reaction is I offer you this, before this occurrence, where do you feel it in your body? My boyfriend and son both requested I stop yelling at them years ago. I didn't even realize I was, I didn't feel like I was. And anyway, they weren't listening! So instinctually, I yelled! To me it was more of a passionate lively emphatic expression, but to them it was scary. So not wanting to loose my boyfriend or damage my son, I listened! Just before this response you have, where and what do you feel in your body. I realized I feel a rolling fire rise up in my chest and throat and then it came hurling out. Now, As I feel that feeling rise up , I calm down, take a second and say to myself, "Oh Hello there, I'm pissed, I don't feel heard, I'm overwhelmed and I want to freak out!" So now after time and practice, I stop, have a little conversation with myself and then articulate something on the lines of, " I'm feeling frustrated, I'm feeling overwhelmed." This allows the other person to understand and pause without being attacked! Many years ago I had a primal fear in a certain situation that was all from a traumatic experience in my childhood. In my mind this actual impending doom was possible, But when I settled into the feeling, I could feel the numbness and paralysis in my thighs that made me immobile with fear. Once I could acknowledge that, I was better able to breakdown reality and where the fear was stemming from. So, I implore you to take a beat and feel- where is the sensation in your body and how would you describe it? Recognizing it and bringing awareness to it can help bring about beautiful growth and change, and in my expereince will definitely add beautiful things to your life.

Water Puts Out Fire - by: Jane Kifer

Elements and personality. Have you ever noticed, one person in particular really fires you up? Other's help you feel supported? Some put you down? It is fascinating to do people's chinese numbers and see the relationship of all of their elements. My son, as much as he loves me and treasures me and needs me and feels supported by me, he also feels I put him down in a way, no matter how I say something or that I say something. I am fire and he is metal. I have the power to melt him. And I noticed my boyfriend who is earth, actually produces my son. You can see the amazing flourishing relationship. My son feels fed and nurtured and supported by him. In the cylce of production, wood feeds fire, fire produces earth, earth creates metal, metal produces water and water feeds wood to grow. Then there is the over powering cycle. Earth contains water, as in a river, metal chops wood, as in an axe. Water puts out fire, and wood moves earth as in tree roots. We all have some version of some of these elements in our personality and the relationship between them is fascinating.