Water Puts Out Fire - by: Jane Kifer

Elements and personality. Have you ever noticed, one person in particular really fires you up? Other's help you feel supported? Some put you down? It is fascinating to do people's chinese numbers and see the relationship of all of their elements. My son, as much as he loves me and treasures me and needs me and feels supported by me, he also feels I put him down in a way, no matter how I say something or that I say something. I am fire and he is metal. I have the power to melt him. And I noticed my boyfriend who is earth, actually produces my son. You can see the amazing flourishing relationship. My son feels fed and nurtured and supported by him. In the cylce of production, wood feeds fire, fire produces earth, earth creates metal, metal produces water and water feeds wood to grow. Then there is the over powering cycle. Earth contains water, as in a river, metal chops wood, as in an axe. Water puts out fire, and wood moves earth as in tree roots. We all have some version of some of these elements in our personality and the relationship between them is fascinating.

Back to the Door - By: Jane Kifer

I recently was in two meetings where I wanted something to come out of it in my favor and advancement. In the first meeting when she offered the table and I went to sit as she stepped away for a minute, I paused and thought about the chair I would choose. I actually went to the other side of the table so I did not have my back to the door and that I actually faced it. The table was such that she also faced the door. We were on equal footing, on the same page, were equally excited about each other and felt like we benefitted by meeting the other. It was superb. Wonderful, she wanted me to meet the others to discuss matters further. A week later, she had referred me to her partner. We made a time and planned to meet. When I arrived and he walked me to the place we were to sit down, it was an outside area with about three entrances. He faced all of the them. The table and the approach was such that I sat on the bench available and was being offered to me. The meeting went well. But there were numerous times where I felt off balance in our discussions. I got insecure about things I said and statements he made in relation to my experience he was discovering. As I left, I felt a little insecure. When I spoke of the meeting, it honestly seemed like it was actually overall positive, but I was left with an uneasy not confident feeling I couldn't quite put my finger on. I wasn't consciously choosing where I sat or the doors in this meeting, but only realized my sentiments much later as I combed over my unrest about it. I went on to think, perhaps my strong personality was quelled a bit by having my back to the door and in turn in my favor. Maybe in order to get this project in my taller than him, loud, strong, American way, it was to my advantage for his French, shorter than me man to feel in charge. Perhaps if I was in the command position it would not have gone as well. Perhaps, my back to the door, balanced my strength and the force of nature I can be. Just maybe in this case it is to my advantage I felt a little vulnerable in this arena. Ahh we shall see.

Chinese New Year - By: Jane Kifer

Bless your home, Satisfy the wealth gods! Year of the horse- Honor it! I just carried incense from the street into my house and the neighbors looked on, but it's ok! Symbolically welcoming the wealth. Not just thinking it. Ritualistically bring it in!

New Year Feng Shui - by : Jane Kifer

Get the dead flowers out of your relationship corner for God's sake! Get that dust off the shelves. Make the bed! Get to that to do list. If you were moving tomorrow, what would make the journey? Be thankful. Let go of the broken, dead, angry parts! Happy New year. Baby steps for your dreams coming true! If you can imagine it and see it and say it, it isn't big enough! This year is a year of less worry, more health, more peace. The almanac says so! It's a year of harvest. It's a wood horse year. A year of better luck. Many peace and blessings to you.

Go F&*K Yourself! I LOVE YOU! by: Jane Kifer

Talk about the power of intention, or the power of words, or feelings- all that good stuff. Last week I got into some tangled messes with my boyfriend. UGH! Hard big frustrating stuff! And like the pendulum swinging in both directions, When it got really tough and we were both at our worst, I typically, am sorry, feel badly, try to take the high road and see it from his side, blah blah! BUT THIS TIME, I was taking my power back. I came up with that all on my own. No self help guide here. Yes that's right, I wasn't going to be sorry. I embodied that LAST week. I wasn't going to feed into his bullshit tactics and coping mechanisms. I was going to tell him without words, but with piercing daggers out of my eyes, to GO FUCK HIMSELF! Thats' right. Rather than loose it and yell - which never goes well. I harnessed my hate for the unfolding events and I just kept saying in my mind, " GO FUCK YOURSELF". That lasted about a week. It was awful. It never got better! It was ugly and uncomfortable and blah. Yuck. Then this week I thought, hmmmm maybe I should try "I love YOU" and that was super uncomfortable. Then I thought, ehhhh because it is so uncomfortable that means I really need it. Yuck again. So I said it again. Felt it, thought it, shot I love you out of my eyes like an arrow. Things eased, softened, shifted and unfolded in a kind loving way. We were sweeter to each other. I was pissed that my new adage of "Go fuck yourself" wasn't working and I actually had to embrace something I didn't want- or rather was hard for me, in order to achieve what I do want. Last night a crunchy part came up again. Tired, frustrated, sad, beaten down, and annoyed, I asked to stop the conversation. I went to bed in bed, angry - and thought unwillingly, "I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you." And he walked into the bedroom and held me and had an honest sweet connected conversation. This morning was yet another story, I'm not sure I can do this! So much work! I love you I love you I love you I love you..eh eh eh.... I'll keep trying. I'll need some stamina for this.

Allergies & Other Stuff That Comes up - by : Jane Kifer

I have always had pretty bad allergies. Definitely to dust, cats, and to some plants. However there are times in my life where they are fine and other times where they are horrifically awful. About 10 years ago, when I first had my son, a friend randomly said to me in her kitchen, "when you realize you are having some sort of allergic reaction, see what you are feeling." I always remembered that statement and it took a long time to wrap my head around the fullness of it. At first I realized I would sneeze around cats. I made the relationship that I was always alone as a child and all I had around me were my cats. The sneezing was the sadness and fear of being alone and the cat symbolized that and "brought up" the old stuff. But then life went on and I kept reacting in different ways. That isn't to say that I am not allergic. I think it is absolutely physical and I think it gets triggered and out of whack by the emotional part that we store. It wasn't until a month ago that I realized a new HUGE part. Since I moved into my new house with my boyfriend and kids, my allergies have been close to the worst they have ever been. Going to bed at night not stopping sneezing, runny nose, watery itchy eyes. I was miserable. At the same time, living my in my new happy home and picture of bliss and figuring stuff out together as a new unit family is beautiful and amazing. Of course in my relationship stuff comes up and we are working things out. My boyfriend and I would always have this thing happen where he didn't realize he was blaming me for something he was feeling. It was a huge epiphany when he realized what he was doing. He was Not the only one doing it, I was locking in to feeling and being blamed. I was afraid, anticipating and fearful I was going to be blamed. On Guard so to speak. We unlocked this huge part which we would experience for much of our relationship up to this point. It was relieving and shifted things in a huge way for us. Time moved along and I realized, in this new house, I was sneezing every single day, but all of the sudden it stopped! I wasn't sneezing ever! I realized what my friend meant ten years ago when she said, "see how you are feeling." She said she noticed when her allergies come up, she is angry, really angry and not expressing it, holding it in. For me, It is blame, the anticipation of blame and guilt. It consumes my being and comes out in my allergies. Discovering this helps so much, Now I can stop and say " Oh ok, you are feeling scared that you are going to be blamed for something." I can talk myself through it, that I haven't done anything wrong and it is my fear coming up and not necessarily anything that is actually happening. That helps unlock the other parts of where the fear stems from originally from my past as well.

Missing Areas of Your home/Life - by: Jane Kifer

Perhaps the reason you are struggling so greatly, in your finances, love life, health or any particular area- is a major area in your home is missing. There are remedies to rectify this! Get a Feng Shui Consultation and see! It reflects directly to your life. Perhaps and entire area is missing, creating an imbalance and inability for things to move properly! I recently reviewed a house plan with my Mentor and the basic map clearly indicated financial struggle which was one of the areas she discussed with her intentions for herself- to have more for rewards and results for the work she puts out. With this map, no matter how hard she works, she will always be behind. There are things you can do to extend a room, or enliven an area. Steps must be taken for things to shift. Her house was in foreclosure last year, she has struggled financially for years and no matter how hard she works she cannot really get ahead. I am so excited to discuss the transcendental remedies with her! They will help!

Position of Your Desk, Especially a Cubicle - by: Jane Kifer

If you are the boss, or the teacher, your desk better be facing the door with everyone else between you. But, what if you are in a cubicle type desk and there is no way around it. What if you cannot control your back to the door at all. My friend is a dentist, an amazing dentist and she and her partner have a wonderful practice. Their backs, however are both to the door and because they have a beautiful built in unit to accommodate a small space, it sort of has to be there. My desk is now in my cool new garage art studio. I love it. However I face a wall. You must put up a mirror in front of you so you can see behind you. It would even be great to put a wind chime above your head, but this isn't always possible in some work circumstances without people looking at you funny. The idea is you need to see who is coming . It also expands your view from hitting a wall, opens your perspective. If you are able to put of the wind chime, put it up with intentions for your work. And ring it when you think of it to resonate the waves of sound with your intention ringing out into the world. The mirror adds subconscious safety and instantly creates more space.

Body Image and Other Relationships With The Self - by: Jane Kifer

One of my mentors was telling us a story of a time when he was very very thin. Too thin. No matter how much he ate, what he did or exercised or didn't, he never gained weight. In fact he lost more and more. He was not physically ill, but he discovered something. He discovered that he literally embodied this image he had in his mind that he had seen at one point of a yogi. A very thin yogi. He, in his mind, aspired to be a yogi, he wanted to be (name changed here) Larry Yogi. That was his goal. That imprint in his brain and intention for himself, created his reality. I related to this story in my relationship with money. For most of my life, I have stayed at the same level of finances, no matter how much more I worked or earned, I had the same internal ratio of money coming in versus going out. The balance seemed to stay the same and never get to a greater sense of cushion or security. Over the years many things came up; My mom always had $100 in her account, she communicated that to me at a very young age with fear in her eyes and worry. It had such a great weight attached to it. I always kept $100 in my account. I also realized I really started to make money as a young teen ager, modeling and traveling the world. My mother made me feel awful for it. Pointing out how hard she had to work for a week to make what I earned in one hour or one day. It felt horrible and like I did something wrong. So I kept myself small, at a lower level. But the most prominent thing I noticed after returning recently from New York from a Feng Shui class, I realized things were shifting in my life. My paradigm of what I believed for myself was changing. I could feel it and I could see it, the question was, could I live it? A wave of tingles rushed through my body as I realized, I have received so much love in my life by people feeling sorry for me, needing to help me, because I was alone so young, because my brother was given away, because I moved 9 times in 6 years as a kid, because my husband left me and cheated on me, because I was a single mom. I never acknowledged the vicim part, I always looked on the bright side - not in the healthiest of ways, but I realized a fear that was coming up LOUD and CLEAR, could I still be loved if I wasn't broken and poor? I was cared for and shown love because I literally needed it, I needed help. I couldn't do it alone at 8 years old. It was appropriate for others to feel for me and help me. Now, what if I had a lot of money? OH THAT WAS Scary! But it is shifting and now I realize I can be loved and I can have things! I don't have to feel badly for success- wearing nice things, having nice things, a beautiful home! I was so afraid of my mother's jealousy or shaming, I never allowed myself to have anything. Well now I do! And it feels wonderful. We tell ourselves a story in order to survive at a time but we carry it into our lives and we don't need to. What our body looks like, what our relationship is with money or friendships and partners. Maybe it is an old story and idea that we actually don't need to live anymore, about ourselves or our goals that got locked in our mind at some point to help us at that time, but no longer serves our best interests. Were you shamed as a beautiful young teen ager when you started to grow into a woman? Was it so great that you lived most of your life overweight to cover it up and not make your parent feel badly? We can let it go. It's ok. I promise.