Body Image and Other Relationships With The Self - by: Jane Kifer

One of my mentors was telling us a story of a time when he was very very thin. Too thin. No matter how much he ate, what he did or exercised or didn't, he never gained weight. In fact he lost more and more. He was not physically ill, but he discovered something. He discovered that he literally embodied this image he had in his mind that he had seen at one point of a yogi. A very thin yogi. He, in his mind, aspired to be a yogi, he wanted to be (name changed here) Larry Yogi. That was his goal. That imprint in his brain and intention for himself, created his reality. I related to this story in my relationship with money. For most of my life, I have stayed at the same level of finances, no matter how much more I worked or earned, I had the same internal ratio of money coming in versus going out. The balance seemed to stay the same and never get to a greater sense of cushion or security. Over the years many things came up; My mom always had $100 in her account, she communicated that to me at a very young age with fear in her eyes and worry. It had such a great weight attached to it. I always kept $100 in my account. I also realized I really started to make money as a young teen ager, modeling and traveling the world. My mother made me feel awful for it. Pointing out how hard she had to work for a week to make what I earned in one hour or one day. It felt horrible and like I did something wrong. So I kept myself small, at a lower level. But the most prominent thing I noticed after returning recently from New York from a Feng Shui class, I realized things were shifting in my life. My paradigm of what I believed for myself was changing. I could feel it and I could see it, the question was, could I live it? A wave of tingles rushed through my body as I realized, I have received so much love in my life by people feeling sorry for me, needing to help me, because I was alone so young, because my brother was given away, because I moved 9 times in 6 years as a kid, because my husband left me and cheated on me, because I was a single mom. I never acknowledged the vicim part, I always looked on the bright side - not in the healthiest of ways, but I realized a fear that was coming up LOUD and CLEAR, could I still be loved if I wasn't broken and poor? I was cared for and shown love because I literally needed it, I needed help. I couldn't do it alone at 8 years old. It was appropriate for others to feel for me and help me. Now, what if I had a lot of money? OH THAT WAS Scary! But it is shifting and now I realize I can be loved and I can have things! I don't have to feel badly for success- wearing nice things, having nice things, a beautiful home! I was so afraid of my mother's jealousy or shaming, I never allowed myself to have anything. Well now I do! And it feels wonderful. We tell ourselves a story in order to survive at a time but we carry it into our lives and we don't need to. What our body looks like, what our relationship is with money or friendships and partners. Maybe it is an old story and idea that we actually don't need to live anymore, about ourselves or our goals that got locked in our mind at some point to help us at that time, but no longer serves our best interests. Were you shamed as a beautiful young teen ager when you started to grow into a woman? Was it so great that you lived most of your life overweight to cover it up and not make your parent feel badly? We can let it go. It's ok. I promise.

Feng Shui Is a Practice, Not a Belief - by: Jane Kifer

As I was hanging a crystal in a long hallway in my house, I measured the string and made sure it was in the right spot. I meditated, filled my heart with intention as I blessed it and I thought, "Feng Shui isn't a belief, it is a practice." When we first started taking these classes, I connected with the physics of it, I connected with the elements of nature, I connected with feeling and how things flow or get stuck. Nancy listened intently and said " I'm not convinced yet." As we learned more and more and practiced more and more and studied more and more, and we see the results in our lives, we realized very quickly, it isn't anything to believe or not believe or be skeptical of, it is a practice, a moment of concentrated intention of connecting with yourself, with a universal energy. When you are skeptical, or caught up in being disconnected which is where we live most of our day, it is easy to say "Blah, not sure I believe it" But when you STOP and take a moment for yourself, for a breath, for a moment to not attach to any schedule, fear, person, obligation, ego filling work, exercise, accolade, drink, or friend and just "BE" to use the cliche- there is a sort of connection with a universal truth that melts layers and years and inches of attachments away. It is a clean clear connection to something that has no words, shape, sound, - yet is on the precipice of form. Doing the work, the internal and external work, creates the practice of Feng Shui. Years ago I would read books on Feng Shui, or try to anyway! I had no idea there were different schools of thought, I didn't understand it and it seemed to contradict itself. I was worried there would be bad luck if I placed something in the wrong spot or way. Now that I am less afraid and doing the work and studying and practicing the art of it, I realize saying, "Do you believe in Feng Shui?" is as if one were to say "Do you believe in Yoga? or running, or skiing." It is a practice, a passion, a feeling, a way of life- you can do it a lot, a little or not at all. I guess for the skeptics out there I'm just offering, learn more. Put your fears on the table as you consider a different way. When I hang the crystal I don't blindly believe and I don't think, "Well let's see if that works!" That would be attaching to fear. What I do think and the door into this idea for me was, I do see how this hallway is long and flows straight out the door. And I do see how this crystal refracts the light and would naturally diffuse the energy, say light energy into a less linear plane, and if that's all I know then that is enough for me. I have been doing things like this and months into this now I see my life is unfolding in beautiful ways, things I have been open to for a while are now flooding to me easily and quickly!

Depressed and Ugly Remedies - by: Jane Kifer

There is a great remedy for feeling depressed and ugly. Maybe you are just feeling depressed, or maybe just ugly, or maybe a little of both or a lot of both. And if you think the remedy is too much, that means you really need it and need to do it even longer. If you are depressed and down and sad and feeling blue. Go buy flowers! Every Day for 27 days , go buy flowers. Put them in a new area of your home each day. Throw away the old ones as they start to wilt. First sign of gravitational sad decent in the flower, it's outta there! Get a new type of flower each day! Try and go to a new location to get them each day. If that feels overwhelming to do it for 27 days? Do it for 36! If that is beyond anything you could imagine, go for 108 days! It works! Get up, get out, get dressed - Go buy Flowers! I recently ordered dresses, many many dresses. Some fit nicely, some were questionable and some were downright awful and my son asked me what was wrong and why I was wearing a table cloth! But in trying on all these dresses, styles and colors, I wouldn't normally reach for, I realized I felt pretty and girlie. Jeans fit me differently in my aging body, and while that was my staple and garment of choice, I realized and admired my friend who wears dresses so easily, comfortably and beautifully. It sort of makes you feel pretty without even trying. it's like eating a Brie grilled cheese sandwich and drinking wine at noon in your kitchen, its the decadent beauty of the French they seem to embody in the every day. While we are at it, how about wearing red lipstick for 18 days. Talk about adding a little sex appeal to your essence! Italy here we come! This is an energetic shift, Wearing the dress or lipstick doesn't make you prettier, it's setting up rituals that reprogram your subconscious and makes you feel prettier or with the flowers, happier. 27 days, 36 days, 72 days, 108 days! Do it, watch it shift! See the results. While we are at it, if you would like more respect at work or to be in a more commanding position in your job because you are the boss but feel less credible, How's your outfit? Where's your desk? Let's start reprogramming in healthy, positive ways!

The Roof Over Our Head and the Rock Under Our Feet - by: Jane Kifer

My boyfriend and I recently moved in together. As we moved into this new space, I suddenly, like a bump on the head, realized a direct correlation with his life and his old space. His sweet little bungalow lifted above ground- teetering over the carport, offered a sweet haven of isolation. He lived there about 8 years. It was beautiful and quaint. There were resounding themes he dealt with, which started to feel like a script or cliche to me, but for him were very real active things he dealt with regularly. They were his reality for sure. He said many many many times that he didn't feel supported. Well poof! How could he with a 3 car open air space beneath him where neighboring tenants and he parked thankfully to escape the no parking ever beach traffic. And his bedroom was in a loft. Cozy, romantic, yes, BUT he could not stand up fully at all. Ever. He bumped his head many times just climbing into and out of the space. He also never in the time that I knew him was able to reach his full professional potential. He has the skills and the credits but his jobs in that time period, seemed to fall short of his full capacity. He is capable and worthy, embodies greatness easily and comfortably but he was unable to fully stand to his tallest potential in the jobs he was in and his bedroom! Also he would get stopped from forward momentum. I don't think the couch placed right when you walked in the door was a good choice. You actually had to turn around and close the door in order to move passed it, or you would walk into the couch. As we were discussing this the other day at what I thought was a pretty cool analysis, he looked at me and added " Huh, All true and yeah, You had a foundation, but it was crumbling" HA! TRUE! My old house was literally crumbling under and around me. Walls cracking, floorboards disintegrating from termite damage and it's about to be demolished. Oh My God! I love it!!!!

New Home, Old Ghosts - by: Jane Kifer

We are in our new home! Wahoo! It is beautiful, amazing and dreamy and the type of home I used to HOPE I would one day live in. As I made shifts with my stuff and understanding about myself, and studying and practicing Feng Shui, it has absolutely materialized. I did many clearings and blessings upon moving in. I picked auspicious days for new things to move the beds into the space. It's beautiful. As I situate myself in my new home, unpacking, nesting, arranging and getting life together in this new space, with a different sort of intention than I ever did before, I have noticed something. I have noticed the recessed ghosts of old parts of me lifting out of me, out of the top of me , my shoulders, my head. It is like spider webs being blown away by the wind. In my old space, no matter how much I changed, painted, got rid of and moved around, though it felt cleaner and different as I transitioned through my divorce and worked on understanding and healing old childhood wounds, there was still a sort of imprint left in deep crevasses I didn't even know I could never get to. Changing my space feels like the ultimate deep cleansing. It's beautiful. Sometimes when I have felt things leaving me as I have made transitions, I have felt so deeply sad- feeling it pass through me as it leaves, because I have lived with those parts for so long, they are a part of me, they have helped to form me, they make me who I am, BUT going through that molting process over and over, eventually leads to a new starting point. A new vantage point. A new level for allowing things in with the unwanted, useless, dead parts gone. Eventually you do make it through the muck, like the lotus flower, to bloom. That sounds so cliche, but it's true. One day the grime can and does disappear. But it takes work! and desire! Imagine if a snake carried around it's old skin forever. That makes no sense! When you feel like you are in the mud and it is dark, just think of the pink petals at the top that are about to bloom!

Voice, Body, Thought ~ Making Dreams Come True - by : Jane Kifer

Intention. Mind, Body, Spirit. If you are going to pray, move your feet. No matter your religion or lack there of, whatever your intentions are, your expectations for yourself or a situation you get them. There are three parts. Say it OUT LOUD. Do some sort of physical movement that expresses it with your body. And feel it, be it prayer or a light shining out of your soul, or visualization. This all works no matter what you believe. Adding these three components materializes life! You are speaking to it, you are physically creating it, you are feeling it - All into being. You could be catholic with your rosary, pagan with your rituals, Muslim with your physical prayers and fasting. You can translate this trinity of intention in anyway that suits you, as long as you have all three parts. In our studies, there is a certain ritual or blessing if you will, that empowers whatever we actually do for a site or a business. It works, it always has. I had other versions in my life before my Feng Shui studies and it always worked. Voice, with some sort of physical representation and feeling, MAKES IT HAPPEN. I did this in my life without even consciously knowing it. I now use ancient practices: Buddhist, Chinese and Indian Mantras and practices that have been used for thousands of years. I feel connected to the other realms as I speak the words and feel the light and use my hands. Try it! I promise.

Dust, Energy, Whatever - by: Jane Kifer

As I pack my life and go through my things and sell furniture to move, I wondered what would shift as all this chi is getting stirred up. Old stuck energy in boxes, dust bunnies, out with the old and in with the new- all getting reorganized and rearranged. I am making a conscious choice, what goes and what stays. Our life is being boxed and moved. Everything in the box has made the guest list of staying in my life! As the process really started to unfold, My son got really sick for a week! Stomach flu, then I broke my toe! Then I also got a horrible cold. Interestingly enough, I am still happy to move and do all the stuff. But it is interesting because I wondered what would unfold as all this stuff got shifted around. This is the smoothest move and most supported I have ever been in making this type of transition and as far as I am conscious of, I am not stressed. I guess it is inevitable though that there is stress and it all needs to come out somewhere. And as much as it is slightly uncomfortable, we are actually doing pretty well. Happy and excited for this new chapter! Welcome!

Opening Spaces - by: Jane Kifer

When my car overheated on the 405 coming from the eye doctor who understands special prisms and vision in the Valley, en route to picking up my daughter in time and then my son, and then to go teach my advanced student painting class to then rush off and make my son's Japanese play, I would pray my car would make it. In bumper to bumper traffic, as I sat there sort of freaked out, I looked at my quarter full sippy cup of water the kids had left in the car and laughed at how much water my radiator needed and how much I did not have. A lovely "guy" stopped to try and help, but not only did he have no idea what to do and I was afraid he would loose his arm (like my ex father in law did in Spain) as he tried to take off the cap and stopped as I warned him against it. He handed me his tiny water bottle for support. Finally this car full of workers drove by at a snails pace in barely moving traffic and shouted out, "Turn on the heat full blast! It'll suck the hot air out of the engine." So I did! And it worked. There was no tow truck coming in that traffic anyway and I would never have made my schedule. In that 100 degree day, I was thankful for the tip, as I saw the temperature gauge rapidly drop to cool. I got back in the lane and drove in that 115 degree day in traffic with heat heat blaring back to the west side with bits of stuffing flying all around the car in wisps like snow, that my daughter had ripped out of my sewing kit from one of my classes. Tears were falling on my cheeks at the absurd beautiful crazy picture I was living, feeling so thankful that my car was working. I stopped and got lunch, because I also needed fuel! I accomplished everything that day thankfully, but at what price! I left for school drop off and pick up every day wondering if my car would start, and would drive. It consumed me for months. I had put $3000 in my 13 year old car in 3 months and it still needed work! I realized I would be serving the safety and my life and my family better if I made a change! I did the Math and I did something NO good Mennonite infused girl would do and I leased a car! Yes I did it. I love it! I pay $200/month, never have to fix anything and or live in fear. My insurance went up $18 but I save in using one less tank of gas per month. Before I got the new car, I had the huge realization that this broken car was taking up so much space in my life, in my day in my mind in my energy in my worry , my feelings. I had no bandwidth for healthy production of anything because I was too busy needing to deal with all this broken shit to make it through the day and it was EXHAUSTING! As hitting a wall when you open the door reflects in your subconscious, so does dealing with the stress of broken cars, bad relationships, manipulative dynamics with old friends or partners. Fix it, deal with it, move out of the stuff that consumes us and Make an opening to fill with glorious things, you will open up and free so much space for other stuff that those broken parts are taking up. Its like having an iphone full of bad apps. DELETE, prioritize, break old patterns and make changes that work for you. Good relationships, working cars, nourishing endeavors.

Boundaries And Trust - by: Jane Kifer

The yin yang symbol which for years I saw as an over used icon that people had little connection with. Ironically it is the basis for most of what we are learning. In the image there is a black thread around the yin and yang symbol as we know it. The Tai Chi which is the ying and yang comes together and the circle around binds the emptiness and everything. This earth matter boundary creates form and energy. Without earth we wouldn't exist, we would be Tao, we must have earth as transition to define. The earth balances each element as we move through the annual cycle. My teacher said " Boundaries are what create trust." This was such a huge metaphor. Of course the obvious physical reality, coupled with the resounding lesson of everything, boundaries for ourselves, with our children, with what we create in our own existence as form and reality. It's beautiful mind blowing.