Shadows and Dark Places

Yes it's that time again where we deal with the Shadows, the dark bits. This can relate to the dark corners of your home and OH THE METAPHOR, the dark places of our consciousness. YIKES! I read a great book ten years ago that made so much sense to these ideas. DARK SIDE OF THE LIGHT CHASERS, By: Debbie Ford. She explains how when we are young we learn to shut down parts of ourselves. Like if we think of ALL emotions as a giant castle and every emotion has a room. We learn, that in our particular family to survive there is no place for anger, or no place for tears, or no place for pride, or definitely no place for poverty, or being wealthy. All sorts of things get curated. So one by one we shut the door and NEVER ENTER THE CLOSED ROOM of our souls. Never enter those emotions. What typically comes about as we grow up is they come BURSTING out when you least want it. Because we cannot look at it within ourselves, we can only see it in others, only see it in others by being completely annoyed by them, or envying them. We can only view these emotions in judgement and an internal exclamation how we "are not that!" and thus better, for our survival. We had to! From this book I welcomed this amazing exercise she recommended. She said when we are annoyed at someone for being something, ask ourselves first "How am I like that?" OHHHHHHHH no no no. But yes yes yes. Do it. It's amazing. I worked in this amazing million dollar ( not kidding) bead store, where we had hundreds of customers every day! It was a perfect place to practice. I could NEVER handle the ANNOYING mid 30-40 year old women who could not make a decision! Make a fucking choice already!!! Mallory, who I worked with could never handle teen agers or old people. While I could help them until the day is long happily. We traded customers often, knowing this about each other. So as these mid 30 and 40 year olds couldn't decide which bead they liked or what they wanted to make and I wanted to chop off their heads, I took a deep breath and said "hmmm what annoys me here?" Their COMPLETE AND UTTER INDECISION. Next Step: How am I like that? UGH. Oh wait let me see, I'm so afraid of making a wrong decision that I make no decision or I take 20 years to make one or I put myself in situations where others make them even if they aren't what I want. Next Step: How has that served me? I don't get in trouble. I don't fail, I don't get chastised for doing something wrong. HMMM well that may have served me and helped me survive as a child, but it most certainly does not help me thrive today. Its a fantastic exercise. You can read more on the work I do that helps areas like this here. https://www.janekifer.com/shamanic-healing