Easy Meditation , it most certainly is not!

I just completed a 40 day 31 min meditation as part of my kundalini training. I was surprised that it DID NOT get easier! At all. 31 minutes doesn't get rushed. My legs never got more comfortable. But I kept at it. I did it 40 days straight. I also recently did white tantric which is an all day meditation with hundreds of people. The longest was 62 minutes, the shortest 31 minutes. My friend said "You must be so blissed out." I said "NO I MOST CERTAINLY AM NOT!" It was hard. It felt like gargling gravel. I hysterically laughed uncontrollably and tears were streaming down my face. I cried deep sadness. I wanted to crawl OUT OF MY SKIN and run out of the building. But I kept at it. I continued to look in and focus on my partner's eyes. I did it. I sat with the discomfort, my legs feeling numb, my nerves completely annoyed. Fidgeting, Mind wondering. I welcomed and sat next to my seasoned friends and saw also THEIR discomfort! Even they 15 years in are uncomfortable. It isn't easy, it isn't ever easy. But we keep doing it. It completely strengthens the nervous system, makes for a stronger constitution, that I can feel. I am glad the counting is over, I am also very glad that I was committed and dedicated and completed the 40 days. I will continue, this is a lifestyle choice, this I cannot not do. I am a better human for it. A better mother, woman, person, light being. I was nervous to do the whole day of white tantric, and excited. As I was there I thought" I have no idea what this is doing and it is so uncomfortable but I have a feeling I will sign right back up for the next one" because the results in my walking life are so profound and upgraded, how could I not? I will do it, I am doing it and for that I am grateful.

Addiction and Energy

Think about addiction, typically people associate it to a substance, sugar, drugs, alcohol. But how about all the addictions we have to a pattern, behavior, story, reaction. That stuff locks in and takes hold. It's our go to safe place to fill the void, so we don't feel empty, alone, not valued, insecure. We react, we tell ourselves what comforts us, we believe something over and over. it's imprinted, it has saved us. How about we consider holding the discomfort, the insecurity, the freak out. IT IS NOT EASY. But don't fill it with reactions, over exercising, taking care of everyone, drugs, sugar. Hold it, breath, own it, name it. I lately have been finding I tell myself" OH you want to freak out right now because you feel rejected" and I have to keep breathing and then I watch it go by- like on a train car. Observing it but trying very hard not to lock in to it. I feel rejected but the "other" is not actually rejecting me. Or are they? it actually doesn't even matter. It is just locked in trauma trying to come OUT! Set it free.

Feng Shui and Kundalini

Feng Shui is alignment with your home and earth and Kundalini its perfect partner, Alignment with the universe and cosmos. Sound current, Mantra locks into that alignment.

Your Prescription: Meditate

You wish that guy would call? Meditate. You are sad? Meditate. You are Mad? Meditate. You wish someone in your office would treat you differently? Meditate. You are insecure about your body? Meditate. You feel unsettled? Meditate. You are over joyed? Meditate? Life is perfect? Meditate. You want Money? Meditate. Start somewhere, do it. Take deep breaths. Google it, search it, ask someone. It can take as little as 3 minutes a day. It will change your life.

Repeating Patterns

My friend said this term recently "got to burn it out". It was so perfect. It has stayed with me. She was saying if she left her certain job she has- with a really bad dynamic and a horrible boss, she would just choose another one with the same situation. She realized she had to stay and "burn it out". I realized that's exactly what I did in my relationship. I knew it was done many months before but I couldn't just run away- Like I have in the past. I had to go THROUGH it, had to let it run its course, be patient, get strong, stay balanced, and wait for the right time. And it unfolded smoothly, responsibly, clearly The same thing happened with my job. A situation had arisen and I wanted to leave. In my younger days I would have been OUTA THERE! And even months later when I knew I was going to leave, it wasn't time yet. Things came to a head and I wanted to quit immediately. I was angry. I was justified. I paused. I didn't send the emails I wanted, I didn't react. I took deep breaths, waited and responded. Then a couple weeks later I gave my notice after I had secured a new job. It all aligned perfectly. I reflected that it was the same"result" in that I left, but had I left in my initial freak out I actually would not have come to the stage and idea of the new work I was switching to. I would have left empty, reacting and not balanced. I had to burn it out. To the bitter end. And it was calm, smooth and easy.

NEW MOON , Kundalini and Feng Shui

As I deepen my Kundalini practice, I experience more tools in my "healing " kit. I have my Feng Shui tool box and the Kundalini technology, meditations and sound current lock perfectly into adding into these tools. Kundalini yoga is a technology of alignment. As is Feng Shui in the physical space. In learning more about the moon and it's phases - i.e.: waning moon is a time of releasing, I take salt baths to help carry out the impurities for greater effects in the waning moon. Writing your intentions in the new moon as I have discovered with Guru Jagat and Harijiwan, is like a Feng Shui empowerment. You write, "I am easily finding myself..." and list away. Everything you want for yourself. It is like planting a seed with all the power of the ethers and the universe helping to build and unfold your free will.

Feng Shui Tips

#1Bed should Face the door. Feet towards the door. Add security, see who’s coming is the metaphor. If you cannot put up a mirror so you can see the door! #2 Look in your relationship corner do you have photos of single women? 1 man? Think 2. Two plants a photograph of two people. #3 Pop a plant in a spot between a couch and a wall. Chi gets stuck in those places. #4 Having health issues? Put a natural sand colored pillow on your chair. #5 Do you know some office buildings create precarious steps so when their clients com to them for meetings, they are always in charge? They create an unstable entry for the person taking the meeting. It lends itself to the company being in charge and more powerful. #6 Put a plant on the top of your toilet! The idea is water feeds wood and energy goes up rather than drains down! #7 In a meeting, need to be in control? Take the seat that faces the door> Need to let the person you are speaking to feel in control? Take the seat with your back to the door. #8 That person always bug you? Do you constantly feel put down by that family member or friend? Maybe your 9 star elements are fire and water and they literally put out your fire with their water? Maybe you are metal and their fire burns you. Understanding this helps you compartmentalize things and how you interact. #9 Do it with intention. Be mindful of where and how and why you put something somewhere both in the sense of your mess and your positioning. Place it with intention with a prayer for yourself and what you want.

Where to put plants in Feng Shui

Put plants Everywhere!put them on top of the toilet. Put them on a shelf where there is a space between the ceiling and the cabinet. Put them in a space in a room where feels like dead space, between a couch end and a wall. Put them outside to section off a missing part of the house. Put them and empower them, pray for them, take care of them. Water them, be kind to them, knowledge them Enjoy them. Let them work of you in trade.

Feng Shui Relationships

OH the irony! In my last house I had placed two stalks of bamboo in the relationship corner. They grew, thrived etc. I moved. I had them in my relationship corner. My boyfriend moved out. I moved the bamboo to my altar. My boyfriend and I of 6 years officially broke up. After a week I noticed the one stalk was dying. Yesterday as I lie in bed, I saw it slumped and bent over. I got up and threw it in the trash. Wow, the energetic hologram. Our space is really a reflection of our inner being and our inner being really is a reflection of our space. I partially think about, how if all is empowered in my adjustments and acknowledgments did it all unfold in this way. Then I realize, it all raises the vibration and I empowered it with my highest of intentions and good for myself in relationships- which might not be that with him. Of course it is sad in parts, but it all also really feels very good and right. I am continually fascinated how energy flows, gets stuck and gets reflected in the metaphor of our home.